Back when I was in the first grade or so, my ART teacher called me up to the front of the class. I hadn’t really done anything wrong but given my age and my nerdy nature, I was instantly scared. Still, I managed to walk up to her. The moment I approached her table, she held up a piece of paper and yelled-“YOU CALL THIS ART?” .I just stood there and stared at the paper for a moment or so, trynna make out what it was. It turned out to be the scenery that I had drawn as classwork that day. I looked at her confused for the scenery seemed great to me, well at least to my 6-year-old self. (However, if it was to be looked at from an adult’s eye it was nowhere near perfect. The houses and roads were irregular and the color spilled out of the lines, but then again, what more can you expect from a 6-year-old). A few moments later, she understood that I don’t see any problem with the drawing and she proceeded to explain it to me, rather loudly in front of the entire class. She ridiculed the drawing and told me that I can never draw, that I draw so bad I should never be allowed to do it again. Naturally, I was hurt by her comments. I went back home and cried and cried and cried. Upon inquiry, I told my mother what had happened and she was naturally infuriated. She confronted the teacher the very next day, who pretty much declined to have said all that and gave me a bar of chocolate ‘to make amends’. The incident wrapped up after that day, more or less and she never really troubled me again. However, I never really drew anything after that. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t get myself to. I just accepted the fact that I was no good at it. So, for years to follow I just avoided drawing anything-be it my other art projects (art was compulsory in my school), my science diagrams, or even lines for my accountancy worksheets, I always had someone else do it for me.
Forward a few years to lockdown. I was bored out of my wits one afternoon. WHAT TO DO….i couldn’t think of anything, with the exams indefinitely delayed, my nerd self-had absolutely nothing to study, for the first time in forever. The boredom had got to my brains and I started rummaging through my old stuff, hoping to find some solution. That is when I stumbled upon my old crayons and sketchbook. Without a second thought, I started drawing one of my favorite anime characters. A while later, when I saw the result…..I WAS SHOCKED! While I didn’t draw anything extraordinary, the drawing turned out to be a moderate look-alike of the character….very amateur but one can look at it and identify the character instantly.
You won’t believe the amount of shock and happiness that surged through me! After years and years of living with the fact that I can’t draw for shit, I had finally drawn something!!! And it was better than I could even imagine myself capable of making!(I even avoided drawing straight lines till then!).
After that I have made a lot of drawings here and there, each making me more confident than the last. I am so happy that I took a chance that day and it ended into me overcoming a fear I didn’t even realize I had.
Have you ever conquered something like this? Do you have a similar story? If yes,then please let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear about it.
I’ll be posting more experiences and thoughts soon….. till then take care and stay healthy!